When you hear the door close and you know that you’re finally by yourself, it’s time to get going with all those weird things that you only do when you’re home alone. One thought comes to mind – if we all do these things, so why is it not acceptable to do them together?
Celebrate When You Hear The Door Shut
And you know that you’re finally alone. You’ve gotta love that feeling of relief when the door clicks and silence resumes. This is what freedom is all about. What are you going to do first?
Get Free From Those Restricting Clothes
Who needs clothes anyway? Throw your shirt, pants, and underwear away and let your inner naturist go free. It’s time to return to the wild and let it all hang out.
Binge On Your Netflix Guilty Pleasures
It’s kinda embarrassing that you love watching Jennifer Lopez movies so much, so you’ve got to do it in private. That way no one can judge you over being one of the few people that actually liked Gigli.
Eat As Much As You Like
Because three bowls of pasta and an entire tub of Ben & Jerry’s is totally acceptable when you’re on your own. I mean if no one sees you doing it, it doesn’t actually happen, right?
Break All The Rules
Forget the house rules, you’re in charge now. Drink juice straight from the carton, eat with your fingers and leave all the dishes in the sink. You’re the master of your domain.
Take A Nap
Or two, or three. You’ve got to make the most out of this peace and quiet, right? Plus you can just lie about how productive you’ve been. No one has to know.
Create Your Own Beauty Salon
Because right now, it’s all about you! Put your feet up, put that face mask on and do some serious body maintenance (the kind you don’t want to do when anyone else is around.) It’s your time.
Leave The Bathroom Door Open
When you do your business. Because who cares about social conventions when you’re by yourself? If you can’t do what you really want when you’re at home by yourself, you never will.
Practice Your Beyonce Impression
Sing at the top of your voice, because there’s nobody around to hear how bad you are. Add in the dance moves too and bust them so hard that you worry there are secret cameras around and somebody’s watching.
Talk To Yourself
Because you really are quite an interesting person, why should everyone else get the opportunity to indulge in your witty conversation and not you?
Freak Out About Any Noise You Hear
All of those high school sleepovers that you spent watching horror movies have had some long-lasting side effects. You can’t be at home by yourself without worrying that you’re going to turn around and come face-to-face with that Scream mask.
Take Thousands Of Selfies
When else do you have the time to try out those new poses, angles and find the perfect light? You know you can stop when you take a photo that’s so good, it doesn’t actually look like you.
And Post One On Instagram With A Witty Caption
Once you’ve selected your fave new selfie, you can upload it to social media with a carefully thought and hilarious caption that makes you, if no one else, laugh out loud.
Facebook Stalk For Hours
While you’re online you might as well check up on how your ex-boyfriend is doing, and what about your entire middle school class? Oh, and don’t forget that cute guy you sat next to one time in high school biology.
Time alone is time to say thanks to yourself for being so totally awesome. And what better way is there to do that than a Chinese takeaway, bags of candy and a bottle of wine. The perfect night in, sorted.
Serial tea drinker. Professional wig snatcher. Content creator and video script writer who may or may not be John Leguizamo’s body double. If you don’t like where you are, move. You’re not a tree.